The original "Story of Chunky Monkey"
page 3

The peacock strutting by with vim, said no one was as great as him. He waved his fan, and said how droll to think about another's role. The doctor gave the board a list of animal psychiatrists to solve the problem, which was, to wit, why this monkey was so unfit. They called upon the famous, bright Doctor Sigmond Seldomright, whose observation was quite snappy: he said, "This monkey is unhappy. I think that is the reason, mainly, this little monkey is ungainly. But first I must research his brain, to see what other faults we'll gain."

The shrink then ordered up a couch, while Chunky said, "gee whiz" and "ouch." They found one, but it was in use by a snoring, surly moose, who said he thought he knew his rights; when not napping, he didn't mind a fight. The shrink placed Chunky 'neath a palm, and said, "speak your mind without a qualm." Chunky said his mind was lost, because at night he turned and tossed, as dreams of food turned to dismay, quiches and pies all slipped away. "I broke my nose and it still hurts, I'll make it better with three desserts. Each animal here is his own boss; I like my crepes with chocolate sauce."

After these few words were said, a coconut fell on Chunky's head. Chunky said "Ow," the shrink said, "Now! I see his problem: he thinks he's an owl! This monkey has an owl delusion; he overeats in his confusion. Split personality's involved; fastest case I ever solved. So therefore to reduce his bulge, his fantasies we must indulge. We'll put him in an owl outfit, and in a tree we'll make him sit."

They found a suit and squezed him in, hurting his poor sore nose and shin. Chunky managed a tiny smirk, and said he knew it would not work. Though Chunky did try to refute, they put him in the owl-like suit. He closed his eyes and made a vow that he would never be an owl. They secured the suit with sneaker lace, till nothing showed but part of his face. The crane got a migraine, said it shocked her, she liked a good old-fashioned doctor.

They led him down a strange new road to a tree, his new abode, many miles distant from the zoo; where he was he had no clue. They said good-bye and have no fear; you can hoot and holler, no one will hear. What could a little monkey say? he sighed to himself as they drove away.

He sat in the tree in his silly plight, and watched the day turn into night. He didn't move, the stars came out. He was all alone, no one about. They somehow forgot to bring his dinner; already he was feeling thinner. Why, he would gladly even share, a slice of honeydew or pear. A tear slid down his monkey face. He didn't like this dark strange place. He whistled a bit and fell asleep, counting bananas instead of sheep.

Next morning he woke up with the sun, looking for a cinnamon bun, a glass of milk, or flakes of corn, and wishing he was never born. Sitting here seemed so unfair. He wished that he was anywhere -- on the moon or seven seas, waiting for a gale or breeze. He wanted to fly or just be free, not in this gnarled and knotty tree, playing out a masquerade. He wished he had a lemonade. When all at once he became aware of a condescending glare from a real live owl who was sitting there. All he did was sit and stare. "What are you doing in my tree; do you have a Ph.D?"

"Ph.D," said Chunky, "what is that? Are you referring to my hat? I'm hungry, do you have some fudge?" The owl looked like a haughty judge."Wherefore don't give me justly cause." He glared and stretched his taloned claws. "There's something here not fish or fowl, are you a monkey or an owl? A monkey owl you seem to be. You're neither you nor are you me. Get down at once from this tree of knowledge, and don't come back till you've been to college."

"Gosh," said Chunky, "I beg your pardon, I've never been to kindergarten. I have a lot of natural knowledge, why do I have to go to college?" The owl looked shocked, "to rack your brains, you'll get a diploma for your pains. You must stuff facts into your head. "I stuff my tummy," the monkey said. "But I do tricks quite naturally, can you do that with your Ph.D?"

The owl agreed it was a disgrace to bring a monkey to this place -- and said that Chunky should commence to use his neglected common sense. "Then you wouldn't be up a tree, with or without a Ph.D." He added that he also knew how to get back to his home, the zoo. Chunky said he wouldn't forget, and was so happy that they two had met. He loosened the owl suit with his teeth, then he dared a jump to the ground beneath. Chunky took a map, as the owl described where he could walk or hitch a ride. With his courage high and his hope anew, he knew that he would see it through.

The suit worked well as a place to hide, as he moved along the countryside. He knew the going was kind of far, so once in a while he hid in a car or a pickup truck that was going his way; he traveled for a night and day. Got back to the zoo quite tired and tense, but to no avail, too high the fence. He wished that fate was not so fickle that got him into such a pickle. A voice said, "Chunky, it's not fate." Then he got swished above the gate. "A lot of it was due to you, just be glad you saw it through. In a fix you didn't stop trying, but came right through with colors flying."

Was he hearing things, had he gone insane, was he rescued by a talking crane? The comments seemed so relevant; they were coming from an elephant. A motherly one, she said she knew that Chunky was apt to overdo. She clicked her tongue and shook her head, and said he looked tired, to go to bed. But learn tomorrow to climb a fence. Chunky had no real defense. He wished that he was agile and bright; tomorrow he'd try with all his might. Mrs. Jumbo patted him with her trunk and warned him to cut down on junk. Eat salad and peanuts, but never pies, and one day you'll be healthy and wise.

They all were glad that he returned. Jane Tigress hoped that he had learned to control his desire to overeat, would play some softball and really compete. They had a party to celebrate -- which they did, and everyone overate. A chimp played the flute, a hippo sang. And now Chunky Monkey is back with the gang.



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