The original "Story of Chunky Monkey"
page 2

Chunky said he paid no heed to advice he did not need. Jane's exercise class, a bore, he'd shun, and then he ate a cinnamon bun. So while his friends played games for fun, he ate bananas by the ton. And in between he though it dandy, to eat the hippo's popcorn candy.

Finally the banana bills got so high, they caught the zoo accountant's eye. The accountant thought he had the key, called the Fanna Banana Company. They said the zoo had been properly billed, as all the orders had been filled. The accountant frowned and pulled his hair, the little that was hardly there. He managed a small but nervous laugh, blaming the hoax on a strange giraffe -- then dispensed an anteater with a nose for sniffing budget overloads, who pursued his sleuthing after meals, and followed a trail of banana peels. Soon he came upon the source: a monkey eating like a horse. Chunky took him by surprise. The anteater couldn't believe his eyes. He said, "I'll report that you are fat," Chunky cried, "please don't do that!"

The board of trustees was called to meet, which in itself was quite a feat, as no one in the board agreed on anything, or paid it heed. Chunky Monkey sought in vain to impress the demoiselle crane, who was quite regal and assured and was consultant on the board. She trounced poor Chunky with one look, and said, "Can you fish without a hook? And if you can't, what can you do, just keep on eating all day through?"

They tried to put him on a diet, but Chunky Monkey just wouldn't try it. He said, "diets are for silly ninnies; what's the fun in being skinny! I like to eat and that is that, I'm slightly plump, not really fat. Just watch me hang down from my toes." He did -- and landed on his nose. He sat and cried with all his might, and the ostrich said it served him right. Chunky cried, "my nose is sore." And then he sat and cried some more.

The alligator slithering by smiled his smile and blinked his eye; when asked advice, said, "I'm no fink, I leave that to the stump-tailed skink." A giant tortoise was also queried, but said he was a trifle wearied, and did not like to get involved, and hoped the problem would be solved. The tortoise then involved the zebra, who asked if Chunky was a Libra. The tortoise answered with a sigh that Chunky was a Gemini. Then it's surely out of question, the zebra could make no suggestion -- but added if he had to eat so much, he should be more elite.

The cormorant then joined the fray, and vowed he didn't count each day, "I eat all the fish I can ingest, and sometimes even eat the rest." The smiling Alpaca llama twins said they believed that no one wins who gives advice, "they only bait us, who are beneath our lofty status." "Such talk is often just a ruse," said the plumpish Chinese goose. "Often those who deplore fat, have faults that are much worse than that."

The doctor was shocked by the monkey's shape, as he bandaged his nose with a piece of tape. The accountant was shocked at the bills so high. And all of the animals said, "my my." Miss Hippo gave a gruff retort, followed by a loud mouth snort. She heard enough of fat and thin; the dilemma was not about her kin (who were beautiful and highly mobile, and fat they thought was very noble). Her hippo friends all loved to munch, she had to run, quite late for brunch.
The "Story of Chunky Monkey," page 3



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